Let's Normalize Casual Dating!

If I'm being completely honest with you all, I never thought of casually dating until 2020.....and I couldn't have picked a better year🤣 2020 has been a year of uncertainty and tragedies butttttt someway, somehow I found it in me to try. Casual dating has its pros and cons and it's not for everybody but I do think it should be normalized! And NO, casual dating doesn't necessarily mean SEX.

Okay so what is casual dating ??? (well my definition at least)

Casual dating is an emotional or physical relationship where both people aren't working towards anything long term. You're dating each other without expectations of a romantic relationship.

My relationships have always been back to back so I don't think there was a period of time where I can say I actually got to enjoy being single and focusing on me. I'm such a hopeless romantic so it was always hard for me to date without picturing a potential future with that person. I do think that at my age I should be dating with purpose, however, there's nothing wrong with taking a break after jumping from relationship to relationship. So I've come to find that there are some benefits with casual dating and playing the field.

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Reasons Casual Dating Is Awesome

• You get to meet different people

Meeting new people and forming connections is great, you never know what you can learn from someone or what you can teach them. You get to know the most amount of people in a short time period and whether a relationship or a friendship comes out of it, that's completely your decision. Let's say you meet someone and it doesn't work, okay, but whos to say that they can't become a good friend? Maybe just someone to have deep convos with or someone to help push you closer to your goals; you just never know.

• You find out what you like and don't like in a partner

You're meeting so many DIFFERENT types of people. This means different personality types, different signs, different ages, races, backgrounds...the list could go on. The point is that, you're able to find out what you like and what you do not like (bad habits, pet peeves, lifestyle, etc.) And here's the best part! What you don't like, you don't have to deal with. On to the next one! So when you are ready for a relationship, you'll know exactly what you're looking for and won't be willing to settle for anything less.

• You are in control

There are no commitments to each other and you can make decisions for you, without having to consider anyone else. This is your chance to enjoy dating without feeling the pressure. There's no having to choose between whether you're going to hang out with your friends or whether you're going to hang out with bae. DO WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT! For some, that means staying focused and continuing to work on their personal goals without any distractions. #selfish

• No strings attached

Most times, stress in relationships are a result of our emotions. With casual dating, you should not be emotionally invested in this other person; expect nothing in return. Expectations often lead to disappointments anyways. Focus more on living in the moment and enjoying the experiences with this new person in your life. Both partners should have a clear understanding of the relationship but ultimately you're just having fun! Set those expectations in the beginning to avoid getting emotionally attached.

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So have I sold you on casual dating yet? It's okay if I didn't because believe me when I say, it is not for everybody. Maybe you want to have that go to person that can be emotionally available to you. Or maybe you actually want to settle down and start planning your future with someone. Or maybe.....you just don't want to go on a bunch of dates with random people😂. Casual dating has its pros and it has its cons but it should definitely be normalized. There's nothing scary about it and you don't have to have sex with every person you meet, just be clear about what you both want from the beginning to avoid disappointments. Most importantly just have fun and ladies, get you a free meal!

A Few Things To Remember When Casually Dating

Okay, so if you think that this is something you can do, there's just a few things to keep in mind. We're humans and we're not perfect, so with that being said, hold yourself accountable. What do I mean by that? If you're dating this person and you start catching feelings, maybe getting a little jealous, or you even find yourself thinking about them throughout the day........take a step back, a huge one at that.

You're too invested in someone who's not looking for commitment and that's a problem. You know yourself better than anyone, what do you need to do to make sure you're keeping things casual? Maybe you need to limit how much you're communicating with them, and making sure you only hit them up when you want to hang out. Maybe you don't need to follow them on social media to see what they're doing on a day to day basis. Orrrrr maybe you don't even need to have their number saved in your phone🤔 However, if you both start feeling each other, hanging out more, acting like a couple, then a conversation needs to be had. At this point, y'all aren't casually dating each other anymore, this could actually become something, but are you both ready for that? You don't want to be doing all the relationship things but don't have any kind of real commitment to each other. You still need to know your worth and guard your heart!

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My dating experience this year has been interesting to say the least, but I can say it's helped me identify deal breakers for my next relationship. I'm still learning how to resist the urges to see if the next guy is "marriage material" but that'll come with time🤷🏽‍♀️. For now, I'm having fun and enjoying my freedom and when it's time for me to be in a relationship again, I'll know I'm ready. This is not to say that if you meet an amazing person and want to be something with them, you can't go for it. With dating so many different people, you very well may meet Mr. or Mrs. Right and have them take you out the dating game. But don't have that mindset going in because the point of casual dating is keep your options open and you can't do that if you think every person you meet is the one.

If you take anything from this post, just remember to make decisions that make YOU happy. Whether that's casually dating people or being in a committed relationship, be honest with yourself and the people involved. Honesty will forever be the best policy and that definitely applies to ourselves. Deep down we know what we really want, but will tell ourselves the complete opposite. Avoid the hurt and disappointment and set those expectations early on. When you're ready to settle down and date with purpose, at least you can say you tested out the waters! Like, comment, share, and subscribe🥰 until next time!

Virtually Yours,

SNT